Toilets

Another beautiful day. I did a few horses this morning came back did one in my own barn and decided to go for another ride, which was really nice. Tonight was parent teacher conferences again. Lexi and Jag had soccer practice so we asked Bepaw if he could take them and we pawned little Winnie off on my mom and dad. That means me and Chandra could go out to eat by ourselves after the conferences. Both kids are doing really well. We decided to eat at Damons. We had a real nice meal kind of a strange waiter but he kept up on the refills and got all of our order right so what else can you ask for. Our conversation eventually ended up on toilets and some of our favorite toilet stories. If you don't talk about kids, bill or work you have to talk about something. :) Actually what brought it up was my trip to the restroom. Where when entering the stall I was greeted by one enormous turd just waiting to be flushed. After a small dry heave I was able to send the big guy down the drain. Of course I couldn't wait to get back to Chandra to tell her of the horrifying experience, which led to the whole toilet discussion. See there is always a reason. :)

The only thing better than having to flush someone else's business is to actually have to plunger it out of the way before you can go, which is what happened to Chandra earlier today at the oil change place.

So here are a few of our toilet stories.

The first one happened a few years ago when I took Lexi and Jag Christmas shopping. Well I got the urge and had to take them in with me. So we picked out the big handicap stall and I put them in the corner and preceded to do my business. Everything was good until they both started to dry heave and gag themselves.

There is one where my sister reached in a toilet to fish out a hair barrette that my cousin had dropped into the bowl. It was a toilet at the Morrow County Fairgrounds during the fair so you know it was real clean. The best thing was the look on my mom and aunt's face as they came out telling about their great fishing expedition.

There is one where I know a woman who sat on a seat that still had a bunch of cleaning solution on it and it left a chemical burn on her bottom in the shape of a horseshoe. U :) I am just glad I still didn't live at home and have to see if it was getting infected :0 I just figured out that my dad might be popping his lens out on purpose.

There is one where Bepaw swings a maul back and hits the toilet cracking it. This leads to toilet water flooding out of the bowl and he panics and flushes the toilet thinking it will drain but it actually just produces more water to be gushed out.

I hate the automatic ones. If you lean too far forward at any point during your transaction it flushes causing this tidal wave experience. Even if you have finished your business and you are trying to leave you can not get out of the way before the splash. I find myself always fumbling at the door to get it unlocked to get out of there before I hear the Swoosh but I am always caught off guard because even if you get the door unlocked it always swings in towards the toilet which places you in the ultimate splash zone. It has come to the point where I now jump off snatch up my pants run to the front of the stall and hide in the corner I deem to be the farthest from the splash zone and hope for the best.

There are a few more toilet stories I will share later. I bet you just can't wait.

GOTTA GO!!