More Fun Today!!

Like I said in the earlier post the only bad part about today was it was almost over. Well at 9:30 p.m. I received a call from a neighbor that was having trouble loading their horse into a trailer. They had been trying for over 3 hours by the time they decided to call me. This is the kind of thing I live for. The only problem was they were not at home which is less than a mile from our house they were at the Mohican State Park :0 So off I went. It is just about a hour drive one way. By the time I got there they all looked pretty exhausted. There was the husband and wife, her mother and their 2 young boys and of course 2 horses one of which was doing his best impression of a liberal(DONKEY) :) Anyways I took the horse and whispered to him and wouldn't you know in less than 5 minutes he was loaded. :) God knew that I wasn't ready for this day to be over yet.

Another Nice Spring Day

We spent most of the day outside today.

We had our lunch outside on the patio and then spent the rest of the day playing, biking, and mowing. Then we decided to have a little cook out for dinner. The kids favorite part of any cook out are the smores. Jag was a real gentleman he gave his seat to his mom so she could sit by me he said he is your husband you know. :)

The only bad part about today is that it is almost over.

I guess that is why God makes tomorrows.

Winnierella

Little Miss Winnie is having a ball running around in all of Lexi's old princess dresses. She insists on being called Winnierella when in her Cinderella dress. The dress she has on is the first princess dress that I bought Lexi. Chandra and I will never forget that first dress. A few years ago Lexi decided she didn't want any more princess dresses. :(

One of my favorite parts of taking her to WDW was the time me and her spent together picking out a new gown, so needless to say I was a little bummed by her growing up. However I now have another PRINCESS in training and will get a few more years of picking out dresses with Winnierella.

Operation Chaos

I am a little aggravated but also honored.

If you go back to October 8 2007 in my blog you will see that I initially laid out the plan for operation chaos. Rush Limbaugh obviously has been reading my blog and has now implemented my idea as his own. I guess as long as the Liberals are being screwed with I really don't care who gets the credit.

They are all a bunch of Donkeys anways :)

~~___(\

/< >\

Global Warming List

List

Someone sent me this link above. It takes you to a site that has everything listed that Global Warming has caused :0

Give me a BREAK!!!

I had diarrhea last Tuesday I think it maybe was caused by Global Warming :) Trust me it felt like it was on fire coming out!!

I think the only thing that can be blamed for more things going wrong in the world then Global Warming is a FARRIER!!

Spring Is Here!!

You can tell that Spring is here:

I come home filthy!

I stink like a nasty horse hoof!

I have horse hair all over me!

The flies are already biting!

My back is killing me!

I am sweating like a fat boy!

Everyone needs their horse shod by this weekend!

I haven't stop moaning and groaning all week!

Peta

Peta

The link above is to a story about Peta offering a million dollars to the first scientist that creates a meat substitute that taste like chicken. Which shouldn't be hard since everything taste like chicken.

I can already tell you that I am not going to like it. :)

Greengate

GREEN

You have to click on the link above.

A bunch of eco-friendly groups were trying to celebrate Earth Day by telling all about Global Warming when they had to take refuge in a tent due to a blizzard. Stories like these just warm my heart.

Another Toilet Story

Well we had another episode this evening. After a fun filled day poor little Lexi got sick and threw up. Chandra being the good parent was in the bathroom helping Lexi. Chandra was starting to dry heave while looking at the toilet so she flushed it in the middle of the transaction. It wasn't until it was all over that Lexi suddenly realized that she must have threw up her retainer. :0 With Chandra being over zealous on the mid-vomit flush my guess would be that it is now in our septic tank. Which is all right because I know that I could not have reached in and got it and I doubt Chandra could have either. Even if we could get it back Lexi probably wouldn't want to wear it again. :)

Daddy Day

What a wonderful day!!!!

Lexi and I had a Daddy Day. We haven't had one for a while, so about 6 weeks ago we scheduled today as a Daddy Day. I let Lexi skip school and we went out to see a movie, went shopping, and ate out at Bob Evans for breakfast. We went to see the movie Nims Island since my uncle Mark and his daughter had seen it not too long ago and really enjoyed it. We both thought it was a pretty good movie. Lexi got a bear at the Build a Bear store for her and Winnie to share. She bought it a Cinderella dress since that is about all that Winnie wears anymore. We have to call Winnie, Winnierella while she has the dress on so that is what we named the bear. She bought herself a pair of black and white checkered shoes, it is like going shopping with Chandra 20 years ago. :)

Dollar Coin

A few months ago I received a email stating not to spend these dollar coins because "In God We Trust" was no longer on the coin. I made note of it and was not going to even touch one of these coins.

Today we drove 1/2 way to my sisters place, which ends up being around Dayton, to eat out for her and my mother's birthdays. They were both born on April 22 different years though. Anyways after drinking 3-4 glasses of Pepsi at the restaurant I ended up having to stop at the rest area. Of course I had to get a drink after going to the bathroom for the rest of the ride home. :) All I had was a $10 bill but that was no problem they had a change machine right there. Wouldn't you know I put the $10 bill in and out came 10 dollar coins 8 of which were the new coins. There was 2 other older men there and I showed them the coins and complained about the fact that the phrase "In God We Trust" was no longer on these coins. They agreed that it was a shame. So down the road we went with me just ranting and raving about the fact of the missing phrase. Chandra decided that she should take the coins into the bank and give them back and tell them she was not going to spend any money that did not have "In God We Trust" on it. Good now we have a plan how to handle this. Down the road we went me feeling pretty smug that Chandra was going to take care of this, when I noticed there was something written on the edge of these coins.

Guess what!!

There it is on the edge "In God We Trust"

I don't really care for where it is located but at least it is still on the coin.

Happy Birthday Be-Pa

You just keep getting better and better looking!!

Church In A Bar

Church In A Bar

First of all I am glad HE(Jesus) saved a Wretch like me.

With that said I have kind of mixed emotions about the article above. I definitely think it is great to reach out and worship with others and meet them where they are. I do have a concern that in doing so that we(Church) sometimes become so much like the world that no one can tell the difference. Where do we draw the line? Should we have Church in a brothel? I know I know Jesus hung around with a prostitute, but I don't know that he would have went into her place of business during business hours and had a worship service. I don't think I could ever go to the Lions Den for a Church service. Although they do seem to get a larger turn out on Sunday mornings then some of our local Churches.

What Took You Sooo Long?

A few years ago when I was still in High School, o.k. it's been a little longer then a few years, I was in the Pep Band (Nerd). Well after the game was over and I was done I always phoned my dad to get a ride home. I actually had to use the pay phone there were no cellular phones yet. My dad always showed up in just about 15 minutes from the time I called him except for one evening. I had phoned him and stood there waiting, 15 minutes went by then 20 then 25....
Finally he showed up. I jumped into the car and said WHAT TOOK YOU SOOO LONG?!!! Right then I got the look that said you had better shut your mouth now before I just leave you right here. My dad worked 3rd shift and always slept during the day and when I would call he would come flying out of his bedroom half awake, stumbling to get to the phone. It was close to Christmas and we had bought a bunch of 1/2 pound boxes of chocolates as Christmas presents. That evening my dog Daisy had decided to sample a few of the boxes. The chocolates had upset poor Daisy's stomach and she had left a few piles of puke outside my dad's bedroom door. Imagine flying out of your bedroom door half awake to answer the phone just to slip and fall in a pile of puked up chocolate Santa clauses.

Don't worry Daisy felt much better after she got it all out of her system :)

Super

The other day I was asked to shoe a new horse in one of the barns I go to. Being the nice guy that I am I said I would do the horse. :) The owner brings out the horse and put in into the cross ties so that I can go about my business. Just as I get the first foot done and place it back on the floor the owner says SUPER. I was thinking it does look pretty good if I do say so myself. I always wonder what a new owner is going to think about the way I shoe their horse and obviously this one was impressed. I just grinned and started on the second foot. As I am nailing the shoe on the second foot another person in the barn goes by and says SUPER!! I was amazed that I was at a barn where obviously everyone knew quality work when they saw it. That doesn't happen every day. It wasn't too much longer when a little girl about 10 years old came by and petted the horse. I was a little humbled when I heard her say how is SUPER doing today. :0 Well I guess the horses name is Super.

Isn't that just SUPER!!

Second Million

I am trying not to get too excited yet but I very possibly could win $5000 a week for the rest of my life. Publishers Clearing House have been sending multiple emails stating that I am getting into the final drawing. One of the last ones stated that someone in the Columbus area with the initials JW will definitely be a winner of at least $100. I'll try not to forget all my friends when I win my Millions. :)

Million Dollars

As I was browsing around one of my favorite horseshoeing web sites tonight, I came across a post from a farrier that stated he had already made his first million and was working on his next. At first I was impressed and a little jealous until Chandra and I started to figure up what we had earned since we started working many years ago. Well the jealousy went away and was replaced by depression on my part. We have already made our first million and are working on our next. What depressed me was looking around trying to figure out how we have already spent over a million dollars. :0 :0 :0
I am starting to think it was spent on Biggie Dr. Peppers and King Sized candy bars.

Marriage

Someone sent me this today by email and I thought I would share it:

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Kentucky.

3. I take my wife everywhere.... But she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric Toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well Because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in".

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her First name was ALWAYS.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these?I love it........those were the good old days When humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words,
"God Bless"

Toilets #2

Even the title is funny if you think about it.

O.K. the much anticipated continuation of the toilet stories.

I hate(along with everyone else) using porta-pots. The only thing worse than using one is being in a hurry snatching the door open just as a 70 year old woman is in mid-wipe. I am not sure who was more horrified her or me but we both screamed like little girls. Believe it or not that was such a bad day in my life that that incident was the best part of the day.:0

The first time my little nephew Andy came to our house he had to go. We sat him in on the toilet and shut the door for some privacy. A few minutes go by and we hear him gagging. Are you alright? Yes I'm fine. So another few minutes go by and again we hear more gagging. What's wrong? Nothing I'm just pooping. The poor little boy stinks so bad that he gags himself. Even when my sister passes gas in her van the poor boy almost vomits. :)

This involves going to the bathroom but there is no toilet involved. Chandra was a kid at camp Maranatha swimming in the lake, when the urge suddenly hit. The bathrooms were too far away for her liking so she proceeded to contaminate the lake. A little flounce of the bathing suit and away the evidence floated. Don't ever swim down stream of Chandra.

The next one is about my eating an entire medium sausage Donatoes pizza by myself. It wasn't long after that my stomach started to percolate. I was hoping to make it home but it wasn't going to happen. I told Chandra to pull over at the next gas station. The count down had begun and there was no way to terminate it. I went flying into the gas station and made a b-line to the mens restrooms just to see OUT OF ORDER. I turned around and looked at the cashier and she saw the panic on my face and she yelled out across the store USE THE WOMENS. I have heard stories that they had to replace the toilet in the womens restroom after I was through. The best part was the look on the 2 womens faces when I finally came out. :0

Jaguar flushed his underwear down the toilet. We had to completely remove the toilet and pull the underwear out of the bottom of the toilet.

I am sure there are more stories but that is all I think of right now.

Toilets

Another beautiful day. I did a few horses this morning came back did one in my own barn and decided to go for another ride, which was really nice. Tonight was parent teacher conferences again. Lexi and Jag had soccer practice so we asked Bepaw if he could take them and we pawned little Winnie off on my mom and dad. That means me and Chandra could go out to eat by ourselves after the conferences. Both kids are doing really well. We decided to eat at Damons. We had a real nice meal kind of a strange waiter but he kept up on the refills and got all of our order right so what else can you ask for. Our conversation eventually ended up on toilets and some of our favorite toilet stories. If you don't talk about kids, bill or work you have to talk about something. :) Actually what brought it up was my trip to the restroom. Where when entering the stall I was greeted by one enormous turd just waiting to be flushed. After a small dry heave I was able to send the big guy down the drain. Of course I couldn't wait to get back to Chandra to tell her of the horrifying experience, which led to the whole toilet discussion. See there is always a reason. :)

The only thing better than having to flush someone else's business is to actually have to plunger it out of the way before you can go, which is what happened to Chandra earlier today at the oil change place.

So here are a few of our toilet stories.

The first one happened a few years ago when I took Lexi and Jag Christmas shopping. Well I got the urge and had to take them in with me. So we picked out the big handicap stall and I put them in the corner and preceded to do my business. Everything was good until they both started to dry heave and gag themselves.

There is one where my sister reached in a toilet to fish out a hair barrette that my cousin had dropped into the bowl. It was a toilet at the Morrow County Fairgrounds during the fair so you know it was real clean. The best thing was the look on my mom and aunt's face as they came out telling about their great fishing expedition.

There is one where I know a woman who sat on a seat that still had a bunch of cleaning solution on it and it left a chemical burn on her bottom in the shape of a horseshoe. U :) I am just glad I still didn't live at home and have to see if it was getting infected :0 I just figured out that my dad might be popping his lens out on purpose.

There is one where Bepaw swings a maul back and hits the toilet cracking it. This leads to toilet water flooding out of the bowl and he panics and flushes the toilet thinking it will drain but it actually just produces more water to be gushed out.

I hate the automatic ones. If you lean too far forward at any point during your transaction it flushes causing this tidal wave experience. Even if you have finished your business and you are trying to leave you can not get out of the way before the splash. I find myself always fumbling at the door to get it unlocked to get out of there before I hear the Swoosh but I am always caught off guard because even if you get the door unlocked it always swings in towards the toilet which places you in the ultimate splash zone. It has come to the point where I now jump off snatch up my pants run to the front of the stall and hide in the corner I deem to be the farthest from the splash zone and hope for the best.

There are a few more toilet stories I will share later. I bet you just can't wait.

GOTTA GO!!

Monkey

Monkey

This story is just unbelievable. It really scares me to think where this country is heading. This woman basically goes out and tell the neighbor kids to get out of a tree and tells the father that the tree isn't there for them to be climbing around like monkeys. Well now the police have to be called and she gets a $75 fine disorderly conduct. :0

First of all this woman should have minded her own business. It was her neighbors children in their own tree with the parents watching. ENOUGH SAID!!!!! Leave it to a liberal to think they know how to raise your children better than you.

With that said come on give me a break did the police really have to be called? I would have told her that they were my monkeys and I would let them climb anywhere I wanted on my own property. More than likely I would have left a banana in her mailbox the next morning. :) I have called my own kids monkeys many of times. They all resembled orangutans when they were little with little puffs of red hair coming off of the heads and waving their arms and bodies as they took their first few steps.

I will tell you right now I would not pay the $75 and I definitely would not admit that I was being racist. Kids for years have been called monkeys and rightly so. For crying out loud they even have monkey bars to climb on. I'll bet you anything monkey bars will be called something else with in the next year or be removed all together because we don't want to offend anyone.

This poor woman was just trying to teach the kids about evolution. I maybe am starting to change my mind about this. I think we should fine everyone that teaches that we come from monkeys. These poor kids are getting mixed messages they go to school learn that we come from monkeys and that's all right but don't dare let anyone call them a monkey because that is just wrong.

For some reason I am really craving a banana right now.

Counter

I put a counter on my Blog on March 31 just to see how many people were actually visiting my Blog. Since March 31 I have had 53 different people visit the blog. Wow!! I thought there was only a handful of people. If you have a second just leave a comment so that I know who now knows all about my Charlie Angel Phase. :)

Taxes

It is April again my least favorite month for many reasons. The main one being taxes. I shouldn't complain too much because Chandra does all the preparing of the taxes and she just gets the pleasure of me coming home every night saying I OWE WHAT?? The last few years I have paid enough quarterly that by April 15 I don't get any back but usually I have a couple of hundred to but towards the first quarterly payment which is due also on April 15.

I claim everything that I make and tend to get a lot of crap about doing so. I have alot of people pay me in cash and tell me you don't have to claim this the government gets too much as it is, Wink Wink. Although I do think we pay too much in taxes which is not spent nearly like I think it should be, it really drives me nuts to hear people say this. Mainly because these are the same people that just 2 seconds earlier were telling me the main problem I have with people coming here illegally is that they don't pay taxes. :0 WHAT? I don't like people coming here illegally either and I would like them to help me with paying their share of the taxes. It just seems to be a little like a double standard to say they should pay their taxes and I should not.

Vision

As you get older your vision tends to fade and you find yourself needing glasses that have bi-focals. My dad has been wearing his bi-focals for a while now. A few days ago he woke up put his glasses on and everything was blurry out of one eye. He took a few minutes to let his eyes adjust like everyone does in the morning. Well it never got any better. He thought maybe his blood pressure or something was effecting his vision. He kept adjusting his glasses trying to see if he could get the bi-focals to bring something into focus. For 2 days this went on until my mom was looking at him and noticed that his one lens looked way too clean. He hadn't bothered to try and clean his glasses to see if something was on them, because if he would have he would have noticed that he had lost a lens 2 days earlier. I always have heard that your vision was the second thing to go. :)

HUH???

Training

I thought I would share about one of my greatest horse training experiences. We had just had Lexi and was still in the process of renovating the barn into a place to live along with a place to train horses from. I was really stressed. I just didn't know how everything was going to work out and I am someone who likes to know and plan out every detail of my life. How in the world was I going to be able to support my new family.

I brought the first horse in for training into our nice newly renovated barn. I had built all the stalls by hand. Earlier that day I had filled a stall with straw, had put a couple of flakes of hay in the feeder and filled the water bucket. As I tried to walk the horse into the stall he bulked at the door of the stall. He would not even try to go into the stall. I was getting a little frustrated after he kept refusing to go into the stall. I just could not believe this here I was the trainer and I could not even get this horse into the stall how was ever going to be able to ride him. Finally I just turned towards the horse and said You Stupid horse what is wrong with you. If you just follow me all of your needs will be taken care of. I have a place for you to sleep, you will have food, you will have water, and for crying out loud I will even clean you up after you have made a mess of things. Right then I heard the Holy Spirit say THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!!!! WOW!!! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I had such a sense of peace at that moment. All the worries about how everything was going to work out just melted away. I am not joking you right then the horse just put his head down and walked right into the stall. Often in the Bible Jesus would communicate with the people on their level of understanding and I think on this day he communicated with me in such a way that I would understand.

Beautiful Day

I know I always say that I like it cold but today was a nice change for once. It was BEAUTIFUL. The kids loved being outside playing in the sand box, running, riding their bikes and swinging. Little Winnie is having no problem keeping up with her brother and sister. As she is playing you hear her singing Twinkle Twinkle little star blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. She only knows the beginning really well. I had a good day. Jackie, my cousins wife, and her mom let me ride their horse. It has been too long since I rode and it isn't until I am on one that I realize how much I miss riding. I was able to swing up on by grabbing a hold of the horn, but it wasn't pretty. The only thing worse was when I mounted it bare back after we took the saddle off. I used to be able to mount a horse bare back like there was a saddle on it not anymore.

~~___(\

.../< >\

Charlie's Angels NOT!!!

"Once upon a time there were three beautiful girls who went to the police academy, and they were each assigned very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that and now they work for me. My name is Charlie."

HELLO ANGELS

Alright Chandra is threatening me with telling one of my little secrets. She says she can tell it her way or I can tell it my way.

FIRST OF ALL I AM NOT GAY!!!

Back when I was a kid and Charlie's Angels came on TV I just loved the angels. In Fact I liked them so much I wanted to be one. So I took my boy scout survival kit which had the plate, fork etc all in a nice carrying case and removed all the stuff inside which left me with a empty bag that had a strap on it so it basically became a purse. Next I took my cap gun and placed it in my little purse. :0 All I needed now was some boots that zipped up the side, which luckily I had talked my mom into buying me. Now the ensemble was complete, so the rest of the day was spent with me running around (in my boots) outside pulling my gun out at every corner.

Next time I will tell you about my Daisy Duke phase:0

Off The Wagon

I have fallen off the wagon. It is all this Easter candy laying around here. I think Chandra is buying all this junk food just to keep me fatter than her so she can feel better. :)))) I am not smiling these are just all my chins coming back home. We haven't worked out in over a week. The spring break just really screwed us up and got us off of our routine. Well I got to go I hear some Cadbury eggs calling my name. :))))))))

Cute

Is this not just the cutest little girl you ever saw!!!